Time for disappointment...

How does it feel when your life is ruled by mediocrity?

When all things are on the verge,but never happen?

When is enough, enough?

Are we satisfied with all the average?

When are we going to step it up, and shine as all children should?

time to answer all the questions in your head, shengyuan...

19th

so its been 2 days since my birthday!heh.
LIKE TO THANK THE PEOPLE WHO WISHED ME, AND CELEBRATED WITH ME TO MAKE IT A WONDERFUL TIME,for me,and hopefully for yourselves too!
really like to thank my Gurl for the surprise she went out of her way to, make it a real enjoyable and memorable one.of course not forgetting to mention angeline,xavier,geraldine,jianfeng,claudia(thanks=D)for gg all the way down!and for that really really wonderful present!

today had celebration with the small grp whom haven been together since 2 years ago!always said we'd meet up but in the end always didn't managed to...so now due to eli.za's expert planning(i really mean it!) she brought us all together like a happy family again.ALMOST like a family.haha

i guess they show me, in a way, why i'd should and always cherish friendships,even through the tough times and all.i really thank those who sent me well wishes, and certainly a really from-the-bottom of my heart thanks to those who came down.makes it all worth while to go for ur birthday celebrations!haha.just kidding=D

oh well.so the bloody exams are over.time for attachment baby.right before that, its the freaking LUNAR NEW YEAR!woohoo!but somehow, it has lost its shine somewhat for me.it definitely allows me to catch up with my cousins and all,whom i hardly see once a year.but somehow, i ain't the kid who wants ang pow's so much anymore.serious.i like to have reunion dinners though.haha.

it also means i've got to put in place some regime to GET FIT!.my god.i cant do pull ups!

to whom may struggle now, with their inner emotions and demons,may this new year bring forth a sense of hope for you guys.Let it be also a new beginning, where the only way is up, and ur motto be "I BELIEVE"cheers.if u'd need anything, i'm always here.

Jaded.

well here i am again.
my blogs never interesting.haha.i dun really talk much abt my daily happenings, cos i'd think its mundane and all.kinda bore ppl and myself to death.but i'd write down the happy moments.gone are the days when this palce used to be a place where i vent out frustrations.gone are the days where this is used as a attention seeking tool(?).maybe.noboy comes to read anyway.haha.

but anyhow.celebrated angeline's bithday.yeap.she's 19.thats one number closer to 20.went to this cool chill out place called Blu Jaz at Bali lane, just next to Haji lane.qutie a nice place, and as usual they camwhored before the late comers arrived.haha.the food there ain't bad, but its like the same everywhere isin't it?haha.i at fish and chips,but i recommend the grilled chicken(if i remember correctly).

met shy later when the rest of them wanted to go cine watch movie.i'm having exam mind you and i am kinda tight on cash.haha.sent her home, and i went home.how i wish the bloody exams would just end.

reflection
should be done periodically,not daily.sometimes u reflect too much u become an emo kid, y'know?somes times i like the emo feeling?kinda makes u have the 'me-against-the-world' kinda feeling.which sometimes feel great when all is good.
i was once an angsty teen,not so no so long ago, but i guess i dealt with it.sometimes fate deals the cruelst card to you, and you just have no choice to accept it.i'd like to think i got a better deal of it.
i dun believe in ming yun and all, i always tot that u hold ur own potential, and its always in ur hands to do it.sometimes at the crucial point we just veer off the many paths infront of us.we all just need a guiding hand back.some ppl trust in God, some have nice frens, some have great families.hmmm i guess ppl my age have like reached a crossroad in our young lives, pondering wad our next moves would be.i'm not proud to say i've wasted much of my past 2 years away,and i'm now shitting my pants abt wad to do in the future.shy says we men and short-sighted.maybe,maybe not.
somes times maybe its not becuz we dun plan ahead, but rather we lose track of our goal.so maybe we have you girls here to lead us back to it, like a shepard leading its lost sheep back to the herd.haha.shy's prolly gg to kill me for say that.and ppl might think i'm sexist, which i'm not by the way.

anyhow enuff of random ramblings.time to go and study.'til i feel like writing again.

oneoneoneoneoneoneoneoneoneoneoneoneone

ok so this is the 390th post.
but who the hell cares about figures.haha.

oh well.its the new year.made some resolution:

1. get in shape.
2. get into a saving habit
3. eat lesser and healthier
4. start being serious abt studying.

ok.hopefully i'll achieve everything there?haha.
in anycase, yesterday was a damn special day!

even though it didn't start very well she throughly enjoyed it,
i take her word for it.hehe. dun have the pics now, so shall update next time.

the hell week has passed, where 3 presentations are crammed into 2 days.
but after that its relax time and time for studying.
oh man 6 freaking papers.we all shall persevere.

Nostalgic

yesterday was kinda fun...though i only met shy for 45 mins...
did some hrm discussion b4 heading to borders bistro to chill out...haha.
the food there wasn't bad, it has a high tea buffet for weekends and public holidays.not bad.$11+. but of course we had ben, so it was way much cheaper, and we shared the $11 among 4 guys...so...kinda like Singaporean budget-style.haha.

anyhow, in the evening wasn't so bad as expected.haha.
it was my senior's from SPA, celebrating his birthday,someone i respect alot. so he org a party at dance@moberly.
kinda cool, and at first i tot me being there would kinda be awkward...
and at first it really felt that way.haha.
maybe its becuz i disappointed them countless times, and i feel guilty.
sometimes i look at the people from my batch and forging close bonds with the juniors, kinda makes me wonder what it would have been, had i really persevered and stayed on.
like i always said in the past, it didn't mattered the training was tough,but the bonds that formed was the most impt. but people were leaving and i didn't want to continue on partly becuz i felt it was pointless and partly becuz i was committed to another club.
i always wondered what would happened if i had concentrated on SPA.maybe it would have taken me and shyanne longer time to get together.maybe it wun happen?maybe.

still, thinking abt old memories,kinda nostalgic.haha.but we still always have a future to look forward to.at the birthday party, met up with a few of the alumni and they talked abt their current situations and gave us younger ones some advice on how to plan ahead.
maybe gg to the gathering wasn't such a bad idea after all.

looking through my old photos, its been such a roller-coaster ride.almost 3 years since i graduated from sec sch, and it has zipped by, literally in a blur.people change,some drastically, some more slowly.i'd like to think i'd change slowly.haha.19 is the pt where some think hard abt their future,some work hard to become men, some still continued on a path that is laid out for them,but fast growing shorter by the day.we grow up to damn fast.
we're all scared, but i ain't scared to face it.just have to take challenges head on.oh well.i'm damn excited abt my FM marks.LOL. and i've got a ECM report to rush.(my teammates probably gonna kill me)and hrm presentation to think abt.time ain't enuff!
till then.

i miss you babe!