YaY! =))

i wish that almost everyday could be like that.
i'm glad we talked.and i liked it.haha.
no matter wad difficulties u may be facing, i'll always be here.=)

Confused?

so just came back from AAX.

damn my body hurts.but i guess i can be pushed further.
but it has changed much.and i think its much better like this.
so maybe i might look forward to it...

hmmm.anyhow.
somethings close to my heart are developing=)
i guess we're all afraid.of what might turn out
if it fail.
i cant promise much.but i'll always try my best.
to be there,to care,to make u smile.

smile pls.u dunno how pretty u look.=)

ARGH!

I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!

wad the fuck was i thinking...saying things like that!
damnit!
the minute i said it...i saw the friendship gg down the drain...
FUCK!

so just got back from the chalet...
wad a experience...haha.
cycling thru the rain,playing soccer in the rain,swimming etc.
had a good time.=) though tiring.

anyhow.i've wasted one week already.better get back tp studying.

somehow.i imagine it wouldn't work out.
i can only hope.

hopes and fears

its a quater past 12
the moon has gone...
with but rain playing with the wind
i sit right infront here ur pictures playing with my mind...

nthing too obvious.

lets pray for everyone.most impt.my family members overseas.
thanks.take care and godbless.

been thinking

i guess i'm painfully annoying sometimes...
some might even say all the time.
i'm sorry.

ok anyhow.tiring day man...
i need to train somemore before i go to AAX...
heard peixuan saying i was abt to join back upgrading...
thats disturbing.haha.

okok.time management...work study play.
damnit.my dad says i cant get a ear piercing...
says wads the use.no reason to do so...bloody hell.
shudn't have closed the hole in the first place...haix.
guess i'll have to wait till i'm 18 or 21 to get one...

anyhow.ur occupying my thots damnit.
i'm really not sure of ur feelings.
is it just another infatuation or something deeper?
like throat-deep?sorry just kidding.PG here.haha.

you make my heart leap again.

confessions.

i feel i've really fallen for u.
how?could u like show some response man!

about time i got this kinda feeling back.haha.
its raining now.cool.
someday i'm gonna sit in the rain.
let it wash over me.just like eliza who likes rain too...haha.
rain feels refreshing,like washing away ur blues,ur pain
ur anger...wash away the sins.

ok due to popular demand(only 1 =] )...i have deceided to update.
well.a new job is a must now.
time-management is a yes-yes now.
my next 3 weeks are devoted to my studies and work.
and i'm gg to mount ophir this weekend.
and AAX near the end of the year.
yeah man!i want to be fit zai...

in some ways i regret leaving SPA upgrading.
seriously.u might think it sounds funny.
but i love their trainings.it might seem tough and hard.
but when u think back abt it, it serves good memories and friendships.
and at the same time ur training urself up.
but i guess it was time consuming.and it has many restrictions.

and i hate havin to have my life ruled by anything.i like a carefree life.
its too short to be not enjoying ur time.

i'll never forget SPA for the friendships and memories.Adventurer thru and thru.

SB.great ppl there too...lotsa fun and jokes.=)
it has free-er control of time.and one other reason why i'm helping out. =)*


it still stabs me to think abt the what-ifs.bout its way too long to think abt that.
now that i'm hoping someone would come into my life.
i hope u would accept me too.

leap of faith baby.=)

wrong foot?

i guess we make mistakes all the time.
part of a learning process.

anyhow.
these few days been hectic.
sleepless nights.project deadline rushes.i'm getting puffy eyebags.
oh not to mention the 'Prom Walk'...*shakes head*
also the SB championship.
we need standard man...
ok anyhow.thats abt it.

needa catch some slp.havent been slping rite these few days.
chiao.

Your affecting me.

disappointing results for my MST.
hah already expected it.
now i've just to work doubly hard.

ok maybe i just talk too much.

bad day.

life's not that bad.
it could only be better.look on the bright side.
oh and aren't u tired with that mask u putting up?
if ur not tired,i am.
dun come and act cute one day and show a lan jiao bin the next.
its fucking irritating.

u stupid bastard.
you dunno how much she loves u.
fucking faggot, fuck you.

madness on the brink

brooding silence.
thinking of closing down.
no pt keeping it where i cant really express my real feelings.
feeling fustrated,angry,depressed all at the same time.

i love silence.

hi.
i hope someday u might figure out who you are.
u have a bubbly personality.a cute smile and a beautiful face.
but no,ur heart's with someone.i hope he reciprocate ur feelings
towards u also.
have a nice day.

how's that for being sane.
madness,on the brink.and ur watching it LIVE.

letting go.

the words that u spoke were not of lies.
they were just empty promises made in that moment.

i'm sorry for not living up to that part of the promise
but its not like i never try.

i'm sorry too for letting u go.
i'm sorry for hurting u in anyway.
i'm sorry for the bad memories.
i'm sorry for my words.
i'm sorry for being who i am.
i'm sorry that it was all my fault.

i'm sorry, for loving u too much.

but i'm not sorry in letting it all go.All of it.becuz it just isn't worth it anymore.
its just very different from last time.
everytime u,no we, said we're gonna talk like old,it never really happened.
wad i'm holding on to now is angst.and i dun want it to be that way.
maybe it never meant to be.lets leave things this way.better for u.and me.

i just hope u would find someone who would love u more den i do.and be happy.
take care.always.

and i hear your voice,calling out my name.

and it sound so sweet.

GAY blogger

What a wonderful world.
yesterday was sports day.now i'm bloody aching all
over.

anyhow.
how does it feel like when you are not really who you are?
how far can you hold the facade?
how do you know,at the end of the day,which one is the real you?
Masks.

Random rants.Hmm.
Oh its been 2 Years since i've kept this blog.GAY huh.
Maybe i can recall the 5 most funny things i've witness in public.
well nvm i can only think of 2 now...haha.

1. I saw an old man sleeping on a train.Guess what.He was drooling.
   The funny thing was that his saliva was like dropping and threatening
   to stain his shirt.Somehow before it drip,he sucked it back up and awoke.
   SLURP!=D
2. Oh i saw this young man,like maybe in his late twenties.He was leaning against the glass
   panel on the train.i think he fell asleep.Then he just proceeded on to bend his leg everytime the train jerks...So it was like he stood straight and then everytime the train jerks,his legs would like almost give way and he would like fall forward.

hmm.maybe not so funny.

ok i know i had a funny experience.i fell asleep on the train.then i had this kinda experience when like you fall into sleep and you have this dream of falling....and before you hit the ground you would jump awake.So yeah.i was sleeping on the train and i had that kinda dream.the poor lady beside me was reading papers and jumped with me when i jumped....haha.

ok i've ranted enuff today.ciao

You are Your Biggest enemy

Well mst is over.'Nuff said.

Nah.i'll just forget it.
i'm in no position, and your in no mood.

twisted love

not going right.

things are not going right.
mid-sem test...die le.
i swear i studied wad came out for stats, and yet my mind was a
fucking blank.BLANK!
fuck it.It still boils down that i didn't prepare enuff.
so the blame is still on me.
ITAB.man i hate that module.just becaus i cant master it.
oh well.its not hard.just that i never prepare.AGAIN.

i think i'm more stupid now.damnit.
frankly,i knew wad was coming.and this is wad i should have got.
serves me right.damn i hate being right abt being lazy all the time.
fuck.

ok let me clarify.i'm not gay.
oh and eliza if ur reading this the big question's answer was a yes.
wad shud i do?haha.

love is pending...

maybe the time isn't ripe.
but boy oh boy have you caught my eye.

e-learning week!welcomed break.
but bad things follow...mst is next week!
stats is gonna screw my ass.
itab is thereabouts...
study!

Change of heart?

exam exams exams!

money money money!

give me a break!e-learning week.

gotta use it wisely...

bands forming up now...really want to make it work...

haha next time can go some pub or club play...lolz

Man, you are cute.

well.
never had a pechant for this kinda stuff.
anyways.its officially two years that my blog has been kept going.

man.i say the dumbest of things to get ppl provoked
well.i really didn't meant to irritate u.
argh gotta grow up.

Reminisces

man i just want a long conversation.
someone.
just talk to me.
just figured out i havent really made any connections
with ppl in poly like i have in secondary.

many decisions i've regretted.
many more aquitted.
and yet, it never fails to haunt me time and again.
ah, grow up, man.

kiss my friggin' ass!

i found this cool mtv that my bro showed me a few nites ago

the band is called OK GO!...cool name eh?haha

heres the MV: ok go-here it goes again.

oh this is my current favourite song.though i think its a bit old

audio slave-be yourself

anyhow. i've got a new nickname. called slacker.

oh well unoriginal stuff.

gotta kip fit!

i want your attention.

the look in your eyes,

are what words cannot say.

MST

really.the episode between u and me is really over.

this has dragged on for too long...u live ur life.

i'll carry on with mine.but u always will have a special place

in my heart.my first.

anyway.Mid Sem tests are coming soon.

i am so gg to be fucked by it.

i know nthing abt stats and this sem my accts just suck.

econs ain't any better.dun even mention itab.

well.just have to put ur head down and work hard.

and pray.

i'm losing fitness...shit!

just a small game in the park with frens and i feel like digging my heart out.

damn.

ok got to do my work now.ciao.

man its been sometime since i updated my blog...

so its been a long time...with many things happening inbetween...

will update it when i have the feeling and time..

soon its gonna be a 2nd year i've kept this weblog...whoa

never knew i would keep it this long...

anyways. there is this job fair coming up this sat and sun!

interested parties are welcomed to sign up!

friends can also tell me so we can go together!preferbly on sunday!

check it out!

damn.

the amount i eat is SHOCKING!nid to cut down on expenditure.
shucks.i hate working sia. slog for a bloody day and u get
money,which u spent almost immediately.argh.
money, a necessary evil.

u know wad?any more people playing me like dat,
i might as well be GAY.
this is really fucked up.not just u, but u too.and me.

i'm a loser.

i really missed you.u said u wanted things to be like before.
well at the rate things are going, all u wanted is just the ghosts
of yesterdays...and all i wanted was the past...
i shud really forget abt u...
for we never really did happen rite?for all i did it was never enuff.

to jocelyn.need to talk some day.

man i've waited long for this to happen...

and now that it has happened...i'm not sure wad to do.

hah.

anyway.got to buck up my attitude.

haha how can u mistake todays lesson to start at 10 when

it starts at 8?!?!

haha...shit lah.

i need a stable job!!!

not really updating regularly...busy busy busy...
lazy lazy lazy...

the new sch term's fine and the teachers aren't so bad...
but its only me, that i keep slping in lectures...
i dun want to...but i just fall asleep...damnit.also dunno why i feel so tired
and easily worked up.must be something wrong...but i cant pinpoint it.

to my dearest frens, sorry abt my really lousy attitude the past week.
maybe i'm just trying to sort out things currently really bugging in my mind now.
i will get better.

anyway.
now its gonna be quite stressful.i'll be working and studying at the same time.
must learn how to juggle time and use it effectively and wisely.need to find a stable
part-time job rather den working banquet...any lobangs pls tell me.=)

oh and also.
things are never wad they seem.i wonder how really u can joke smile and chum chum with us while u show a dislike at our backs.man call me a hypocrite but at least i'm direct if i dun like u man...urgh *rolls-eyes*

to my best frens from High sch, pls go out soon!
i know some of ur are having ur promotional exams after that we shall go out ok?
eat some real superlicious-gobsmacking-ultra nice food!and find cool places to chill
and hang out...

oh last but not least,to a certain girl.
i'm not really sure wad ur playing at...
but i hope u wud tell me how ur feeling abt me.
dun bring me around in circles.and take my heart for roller coaster ride.

ok now shall go to work soon.cya guys.godbless

damn.

sian lah.
sch starts all over.AGAIN.Less den a freaking month.
crap lah.anyhow,first 2 days are ok i guess...
though i find my new lecturers and tutors quite QUEER...

anyhow...my holidays were packed and busy with club stuff...
but it ended off with a high...i mean for me probably.
the kayaking expedition didn't turn out well as planned...but it was definitely fun...
though also very tiring...
and i also carry a scar...haha i got bitten by a centipede down at one of the islands.
sister islands.my boo.prolly step on it without knowing at nite...
was painful but subsided the next day...haha.
and there were monkeys down there...not the cute cute lame ones u see in the zoo.
the rowdy noisy and aggressive ones u see in the wild...
a pair even did their 'THING' infront of us too...-_-"
oh did i mentioned i saw a snake too?haha rite infront of my eyes.not too big...
but still enuff to make ur balls shrink...haha

oh well tired now.shall continue soon.haha

will be away for the next 4 days till sunday...
SOUTHERN ISLAND KAYAKING EXPEDITION!
WOOTS!

friends out there, take care and godbless. : )
to me dear poly clique friends, sorry bout not turning up most of the time.
busy with club stuffs...real sorry to have stood up on u guys all the time...=(

damn i cant sign in to windows live messenger!
so damn frustrating!urgh! damn piece of crap...

back from 4D3N GYL camp! Wad a blast!
its one of the best camps i've been to! Absolutely smashing!=D
i've got plenty of photos i need to get from ppl...so have to wait patiently for it...
and to the peeps who msged me during that time sorry i cudn't reply u cos
i was outa money for my Hi! card...

but the good news is i'm getting a new line SOON!I mean REAL soon...haha
but the draw back is i have to work...times are not good.
i'm gg to support myself...so its byebye to SPA liao...
i'm very serious.i'm gg to leave the cca to concentrate on my studies and work.
yeaps...

changed blogskin...BLEACH!
i like watching that anime...cool stuff...with cool characters like Ichigo and Bayakuya...
Fantastic! yeah yeah i know i'm abit slow to catch the anime craze...better late den never!haha!
Youtube has only currently 95 eps...go and catch it!

i'm gg to catch up with old frens and cliques!
reminicing alone is quite lonely u know...

我刺你一刀？真對不起！不是固以的！

things,hopefully have been settling down liao...club stuff has been more tolerable.
lets hope this continues...

最近有好多pest來我家,也不懂為和会来...于烦于恶心...

excited for my upcoming trip to sarawak!woots!
okok its very late now.
Ciao

华文还是最好能表答您本生想说的话，因为一个字或诚语就能把你想说的话都表现出来。
but i still prefer english.hahaha.

have u ever remembered the time when u said something out and immediately regretted it after that?that u never really wanted it to be said it out in that way and that u never meant wad was said?
and after that,saying sorry seems so useless,that wad u said cause the opposite party some hurt...even a thousand appologies wont suffice...
yesterday really felt like digging a hole and stuff my head in...
becuz of wad i said i spoiled the qi fen some wad and well upset ppl...

its really the guilt that kills u after that...the accusing look he/she give u.
lets hope for the best.


these few days have been good.taking a break and taking things slow.
my holiday is NON-EXISTENT!neither is money.
i'm like a tap...its like it never ceases the water flow...i'm spending way above wad i earn...haha

i nid to work...can u guys give me a BREAK?!

i want to help u very much...but i dun know wad words to say...i can only listen to u and offer support.it feels useless to not be able to help.but i'll try my best anyway.=)
i just wished u had put in more effort for me in the past...

干你那备 超机白！In other words, FUCK!

我真的是受不了！！！！
为什么都是给我 fucked up 的 attitude？
我都不知道为什么你们给我 fucked up 的态度。。。有没有人会从我的方向想？
不爽，不高兴就向我抛你的“兰交”态度？wtf man？你们有脾气我没有吗？
很想大声的骂人，但我想大家也有他们的OFF-day,无理取脑。。。
早知道我就不应该参加这个cca!他媽的，我不干了！！！

还有，麻烦你们不要给我 attitude 因为我受够了！

wow...sometime since i blogged huh?

well...last week i had two papers.most likely flunked them.
if not maybe pray for a grade c at best.yeap.then had a class bbq on friday at east coast.
i wudn't say its fantastic,but i got better at the end of the day...=)and i got my finger burnt and a hole in my FAV. boardshorts!damnit!

and yesterday was my good fren's b'day.hope he had a great time.left early.guess i was spoiling the mood there.didn't feel rite.oh watched 'Break Up' too.its not really a fantastic movie,just average.the fight scenes between the couples were dumb,but they show at least viewers can roughly understand wad it feels like to go thru a breakup.maybe this show is recommended to guys and gals who thinks of breaking up or maybe getting into a relationship that it isn't as easy as most ppl think.well just a thought only.

i'm hoping to watch 'Click'.anyone wants to watch it too?leave a comment or msg me.
and thanks for the encouraging comments on previous posts.thanks. :)

the past weeks have been mind boggling.NOT in a good way...

stress stress and more stress...i'm only human...and i still commit the same mistakes...

sometimes,i really do still miss her alot.it'll just be memories raining down like broken glass shards on to my heart,piercing and cutting it each and everytime i think abt it.she was the best i ever had,even though it was for only a short time.though ppl and she herself mightthink wad had she given me, the happiness of being together was the biggest gift she could return me.i really do miss her,from the smell of her hair to the touch of her hand to her understanding attitude ,to her clumsiness...haha...
the memories and pain shall serve as a reminder.as well as remaining forever.

somehow, i've really changed also after we parted ways.i'm extremely hot-tempered now,impatient and very inconsiderate.vulgarities now seems like my mother tongue.even trusting ppl now seems trickier.making friends seems harder.i'd wonder if i'd ever find myself again.

exams coming again!fucking stressed man...study study study.and den there's the pressure of learning leadership stuffs.trying to appease everyone.wo kuai yao fong diao le...

damnit...these few days has been hectic and tiring.but i can take it.the stress is overbearing though sometimes.

argh.exams coming soon..howhowhow???i still so busy with my cca.never tot i wud be committed to it...but once i did,there shudn't be regrets!oh and these few day have been skipping lessons...got to put an end to it...my results are very bad as it is already.

could ppl really change so much in such a short time?could pressure bring out the true colours in u? i'm just sick of everything sometimes.BLAH!

MONDAY I'M GG OUT WITH BLOOPS<>< AND GF!!! =))
whee!and happy early birthday CLAUDIA!very sorry i cant make it to ur burfday party on the 5th, but i wish u all the best and have a GREAT year ahead! take care! frens always.=)

oh yeah one more thing...bloops said her cousin say i handsome!!!=D wad do u think?hehe...
note the guy in the middle IS ME!haha...

My life's a mess. man, i'm sickened to the core. i need some time alone man. i nid to clear my thoughts. i need...

GO AWAY.

"...and he plunged into black depths of despair."

hmmm...its been a week since i blogged...oh well.been busy with sch stuff and com's always with my dad...he nids it for work..so cant really use it,frequently.
anyway,S.P.A's training is tough sia...but i'll make it.I WUN GIVE UP!

F.O.M project is FINALLY OVER!!!CONGRATULATIONS AND CELEBRATIONS!!!NO more PRESENTATIONS, NO more PROJECT!!!hahaha!woot...but the presentation was quite alrite..though the Q&A was some disaster...its like there are 20 parents as the audience and our grp is the innocent looking children,standing in one line and tio a lecture sia...hahaha.nvm.ITS OVER!took some pics...

thats me and my grp...


and this is my grp and our lecturer in the middle...
cool eh?hehe.NOW for tests!Oh oh...i got 37/50 for my recent econs test!WOOHOO! =))

i guess it wasn't meant to be...was it? don't leave me?

screw it.my mp3 is spoilt.fuck man... no music and files for storage...and my dad is probably gonna murder me... played soccer after sch... and now my feet there are quite alot of blisters...big somemore...haiyo.

after sea training wah my body feel like it was bruised and battered lah...yesterday i woke up wah kao...cant move sia...move pain lah. sneeze stomach pain, hands move biceps pain...omg...today still got soccer tourney leh...like dat how?

ok i'm back again.

time for some update huh.POLY 50 SPA TEAM 'TAUPOK' came in 5th.TEAM 'BLACHAN' came in 22nd.WELL DONE GUYS! everyone did their best! yeah!haha it was such a high feeling lah!its kinda a great experience doing the run...i thought only our whole team responded with cheers and encouragement lah...cool sia...after the run we went on to take pictures!haha picture frenzy!
TUAPOK acting fierce! RAHH!!!

whole of spa plus alumni in green and team BLACHAN in blue!

loved the whole experience man!

tml is poly 50 day.do u know how much that means to me? All the months i have spent preparing,all the sweat and blood i have spilled,all the time spent and sacrificed would all come to a head tml.POLY 50DAY...no matter what i am NOT going to give up.i will show to anyone who ever doubt me i CAN do it.MIND OVER MATTER. HOO-HAA! S.P.A ALL THE WAY!!!!

its been a trying few days and two weeks! damnit i study like shit for my econs test...it better yield GOOD results man. and and i hope i made a good effort in my FOM report. my teacher is some big fat dumb shit lah. i hope she isn't internet savy and find this...even den i dun think she remembers my name...haha.

sometimes i dunnoe wad i'm thinking,saying and doing. my actions dosen't represent what i'm thinking, and i dun speak wad i think...i just hope my thinking clears up soon.

i'm not sure if i'm happy or sad. all the best and good luck.

i think mrbrown.com is some funny shit lah...some of his podcasts are freaking funny...hahaha...who can forget the podcast abt the 'de kua'...haha

i'm a very inconsistant blogger(if i can call myself that) now.other den being lazy, i've been coming home late for the past two weeks becuz of cca training...and also gg out with frens lah...so actually most of it is my doing lah...but anyway, life has been fun lah...

i've been through sch laughing lah...i think my cls is THE crappiest class around the yr ones...with lame jokes and actions, coupled with our sometimes immature behaviour...an excellent combination...haha.seems like i look forward to gg to my cls, SOMETIMES.

speaking abt laughter,i think it really is THE best medicine to cure anything...i believe if u face everyday with a smile, it would brighten up everyone's lives and laughter would come easily and fill ur heart with joy...i think lah...

there's this briefing for cls reps,SMART leaders and sb club members today...i'm very interested to go on the sarawak trip...but once i heard that the assistant cls rep wun go, i felt abit guilty lah...for the record my assistant cls rep is a girl,whom i believe at best the feeling between eash other is sour...hahaha.BUT however i believe that she has done more den her fair share of her duties so why cant she go on the trip to?wud i do the self-sacrificial thing and give up my place to her?isit being selfish?

" you have somehow quietly walked into my life, with no fuss and quietly took my breath away"

i've reverted back to a default template...partly becuz i'm sick of those skins lah...
i prefer simpler designs.=)

and if u notice there ain't a tagboard now...
so leave comments if u have anything to say...
dun be a jacka** and leave vulgar comments lah...
MATURITY PLEASE!

let me say in no uncertain terms i HAVE or is in the midst of MOVING ON ok?
wad i have posted and said in the past...well thats that.THE PAST.
Everybody happy? =)
I have changed.Hopefully for the better. =)

'...he reached out for her hands...clasped them tightly and placed them on his chest, over his heart.her hands were cold, her face blank, her eyes empty pitts, her heart dead...as hot tears made in-roads on his soot covered cheeks, he softly muttered, " i love you" for the last time...his grief uncontrolable, his body shaked as he left out his tears...all the while caressing her cold cheeks...'

its been sometime since i blogged...
hahaha cant be bothered sometimes...
and also i have been weighed down by overdued
homework and PROJECTS! yes that dreaded word...

oh well...

Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day
The sleeping cello
Quiet and so old
I think you've made yourself clear
I know and I'm sure
You don't regret
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe
You being with me was in the past
I hope he loves you more than I do
Only then will I bring myself to leave


You want me to say it, but it is awkward
I don't even want to break up
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?
I don't have the ability
To accept both you and him
Don't worry too much
I'll still be fine
You've already gone far away
And I will slowly walk away
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when we break up?
I really don't have the ability
Staying silent doesn't come so fast
I will learn to give you up
Because I love you so much

安靜:周杰倫
taken from http://jay-chou.net/lyrics.php


yesterday had a bbq with my grp of frens from
sec sch.it was nice to see them together again
after so long already. esp claud and angeline.
i guess we had fun.bbq was better then last time...
hahaha.we even tried PRATA bbq!hahaha!
now that's a first!
it was just a simple get together.
it was great chilling out with them again.
and must thank jf for coming down.
reasons we all know.=)

i dreamt we were together again.
it felt almost real.but i know its not.

my heart aches.
so long, goodnite.

the WORLD CUP fever has started.
funny.i'm a avid soccer fan.but i'm not interested.

there's so many things i want to say...
i love u so...and i miss u even more.
though ur nvr gg to come back into my arms
i can only stand aside and wish u luck.
dun feel bad.theres nthing wrong.
life's like this.all the best.

i'm tired.E-LEANING SUCKS SHIT!
ah well.one of my "brudder" 's grandma passed away last fri.
lets give a minute's silence.
and pray.
godbless all.take care.

today has been a TIRING DAY...
but still its fulfilling lah.in some ways...
hahahahahaha.

went to a childcare centre to help out.
organised games for the kids there to play.
weren't so co-operative lah.
but still it was fun.

i think i must go for zheng rong liao...
some say i look fierce when i dun smile...
ALOT say i look like 20 yrs onwards...
omg...but i like the way i am.and thats important.

but anyway.i think i gonna have sore throat again.
ah well.

now or never, i wun be there forever.

the pain we feel stays...but beautiful memories never fade away

the sky turns a crimson shade,
as the lights above start to fade...
i walk alone beneath a twinkling sky,
sorry for the tears i made u cry...

alrites.
today i had FOM presentation.AGAIN.
the days leading to that were endless of
slpless nites and dull mornings...
my face exploded with pimples now can?
haiyo...somemore now body weak
and sick again liao...7 hr of slp in two days!
anyhow...presentation was alrite lah...

our slides were not really clear on our stand

but we still managed to scrape through...

i tot we did ok for the Q & A...

though a question from Claustophobia stumped me awhile...

and i'm not sure we really answered that...

haha...

today was a day of events...
had another cls outing lah...it was better den last time...
but still...i think i really suck at organising stuff lah...
must learn...haha
cos we were running around orchard like headless chickens...
we FINALLY settled at swensons...
had fish and chips set lunch...
wah i love their soup of the day...
it was a sumptious lunch lah...haha.

all in all...i liked the outing today...

though there a few blips here and there...

i dun get angry that easily guys...

so yeah dun worry. =)

all in all.today was FUN!=)

DBA 01 ROCKS!

and i'm their cls rep! ^.^V

hmmm...
i guess u have found someone u really like huh?
so u weren't lying when u said u never loved me at all...
how naive was i...

jiu de bu qu,
xing de bu lai...
only sometimes i dun want the past to go...
but i think its time for me to ease u out of my life...
just as u have eased me out of urs...

anyway...
i guess i'm quite stressedu huh?
do i really have such a fierce attitude?
hmmm i think i just have to control my emotions more...
haha...i think i must appologise to DBA 01...
i'm the cls rep yet i havent really done much to help dem...
really sorry...and sometimes i dun really mean to show anger...
just that sometimes it bursts out...i'm
not a emotional git...haha!
yup anyway...i'll learn!
i'll try to serve u guys better...lolz.

well.
thats urs truly.

ENJOY! =))

had some fun times today...
haha...quite happening ah gg out with that bunch...
this class aint that bad at all...
=)

hmmm...today dinner was at cafe cartel cineleisure...
though its at a different location...
but the same place...
nostalgic...haha..

i wonder all the time why has it have to
end like this...
shes the only one whom i loved with
all my heart and more...
its just like gg to places and seeing things
and den think back...

her beautiful face...
her actions and smiles and words..
the stupid yet fun things we did...
it just floods back sometimes when i'm alone...

there's this song by jay chou, 安靜, has all the words
in it that i want to express out...

anyway.
just went for a weekend trip to berkela waterfalls
at kuantan, Malaysia.
the waterfalls was SHIOK LAH!
just by looking at the water cascading down...excellent man!
i went beside the waterfall and let the water hit me!
WAH DAMN SONG LAH!though abit painful lah...
and den i did diving into the water...
if i have pictures i'll get it up asap...
water was wonderfully cold and refreshing..
its fresh water...has abit of sweetness in it...
overall the expedition was fun lah...
i think i like this club man!
S.P. O.D.A.C.! ROCKS! :)

i cant let go...

thx for the song flora.=)

thx for being straightforward.i guess i looked like a sneaky bastard snooping around.
if u felt anger, i appologize.but this is how i feel now.
this is how it feels to be like me,NOW:

why the fuck do u care?hmmm maybe i'm hallucinating...
maybe u dun even care at all...
dun be sorry for the things u said...
the truth hurts...at least u were honest i guess.

and no i cant recover from this.
becuz i still love you.
and no.i never changed.maybe u shud look somewhere closer.


if ur angry after reading this i'm sorry ur reading it den.
becuz this is how i feel.NOW.

man our grp is falling apart into two grps....
or am i just too sensitive...

take care of urself.slp early yeah?=)
alli can do is to keep everything to myself.

went out with eds to queensway...bought a pair of
PUMA(RAHHHHH!!!) shoes...whee...

to BLOOPS<><:
it was great gg out with u...haha
must have this again!^.^\/
cya soon!

pray pls talk to me soon.i can take almost ANYTHING!
i'm STRONG boi!though i'm still coughing...SARS

take care peeps!

damn i miss u...

i'm still in self-denial...
had a dream abt her being hurt and all...
i'm really sorry...my fault.
can i have u back?pretty pls? =(

GOING shopping with <>< on thurs!!!
cant wait!=))

u wun really realise the true value
of something or someone till u lose it...
oh man everyday lah...
just getting worse and worse...
i miss her very much...
*depressed*=(

i'm still having a severe cough man...
kaos more den one week liao...i think more
den two also liao...cough until chest pain now...
lung cancer!?!?OMG! =(

life's been hectic since start of sch.
its not really quite wad i expected...
struggling to cope but still will do lah.
lots of projects coming up.

so guys lets meet up soon yeah?
can share wad we've been thru the past month or so.
i'm looking for a part time job with flexible hrs.
so anyone could help out?
I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!!! XD

its been hard.but i guess i made the right choice anyway.
ur happier this way.=)
cya soon.

hmm...pek chek with the ripway thing...
now just using the iwebtunes...more reliable...
haha...song currently playing now is
ALWAYS by BON JOVI...
this song is like kinda for her...=)

ok...
i'm back from my camp...
OBVIOUSLY....
it was quite tough lah...something like a bootcamp
but the aim is to foster bonding between strangers...
u suffer u suffer together...
one for all all for one...

yeap...its was more of memorable den fun lah...
haha...been through shit lah...but its ok...
now i have a very SEXY VOICE....
cos shout cheer too hiong...haha
yesterday when i came back from camp
i slept from 6pm-6am without waking or moving...
wow...den i went to see the doc for my sore throat...
den got cough also...haha...shows i'm a dedicated boi ok...

in anycase i miss my bunch of frens...esp her...
could u guys like get a gathering or something?
like this sat or something?yeap pls reply asap.
in the meantime take care peeps!

guys i'll be away for the next 4 days!
freshman camp!
something i hope to change my perspective...

so i want to wish a happy birthday to edlyn...
whoose birthday falls on today...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!=)

and a advance happy birthday to royston
whoose birthday falls tml...the 4th of april...

so guys dun miss me!haha...
i love u...but i dun think u can say the same thing to me anymore.

the kid that got wad he wanted but
things weren't right after that.






he's made of sterner stuff.bitch.








ME.and.YOU.JK!

today's the day....
wish me luck ;)...

another boring chapter in my life now currently...
the only pt worth noting is that i went for the facial...
the experience was over all relaxing...
though for 1/2 hr i was in agony cos the beautician
was SQUEEZEING my pimples out of my
blocked pores...wah never have i experience so much
pain on my face b4...haha.

but still, that aside, it was a enjoyable experience
with a soothing music playing in the background
and smooth movement of the beauticians hands...
mum says my face looks much better...
i see no diff... -_-"...maybe must wait a few days bah..
haha...

everyday i seem to gg ever more nuts thinking abt
wat is realy happening...
and how to improve it...
argh...fug.loving u still...

so today i went to sp for my enrolment...
well...i had to wake up retardedly early...
train rides bout 1 hr...locating the enrolment
centre abt another 20 mins...which was quite dumb really...
no notices to pt u the right way frm the mrt station...
somemore the campus so big...very hard to navigate leh...

haha anyways i got there in time...checked in..
and wait for my queue no. to called...
alot of ppl dere had frens accompany them...
sad.no one with me. =(
anway roughly 5 mins later someone walked into my
Peripheral line of sight...hm...and den came up say 'HI'

suprise suprise its old fren jamie...
wow has 4 yrs been a long time...haha.
no change in her...just maybe more prettier...
to my greater shock she was in the same course as me...
(i must have been dumb that time cos all that went for enrolment that time all enrol the same course...)
wadeva the case we xchanged hp no... and den i got called out to
present my credentials to enrole...
the whole procedure was done fast which was good...
however u must go thru a sickening tour of the cca the sch offers...
and get phsyco here and dere to join this camp and dat...
its like a filled mug and den u try to add more water...
overload lah...felt like gg thru a mental gauntlet...haha
anyway basically narrowed down my choices to outdoor kinda ccas...
which weren't in short supply...SPOILT FOR CHOICE!
after the whole thing was done..

i went to get my hair cut...
i tried something new...not like drastic kinda new...
something i never tried b4...
had lunch...went to hougang for awhile...
went home..slacked...
long day huh...haha.i'm kinda tired...sian.
tml i'm gg FACIAL!WooHooo!haha
wondered how isit gg to be like...
most likely pain from wad i've heard...
but to solve my pimple problems and get my mum OFF my back
abt it...no harm trying...somemore FREE!haha
mum has a voucher!=)
anyway...i dun feel like talking anymore.
wad a boring post.gtg.take care peeps.night.

i wondered have u forgotten...
are u so physically and mentally drained?

i guess u are.
wad a stupid question to ask.
*rolls eyes*

yesterday was fun...haha
celebrating eve's birthday which was actually the day
before...so happy 17th birthday...welcome to the 17 club...haha
act more mature hor!

went to catch a movie at suntec...very dumb show...
lame until cant really laugh lah...
but if u have more den ONE funny bone in u
den go and watch it lor...
watching it machiam like watching scary movie...
which actually says alot abt royston...
cos he so enthu abt the movie and its seqeuls... wahahaha

after moovie jiu go kenny rogers eat...
servings quite big lah...somemore angeline kip
giving me her portion...say i not fat enuff?
where got?wah so in the end i finished her portion but cant
finish mine...haha...-_-"

very very very full...so go to sky garden...
knowing them...they will confirm start taking pictures...
so take take take...until 9 plus i think...den jiu go home...
we take bus de reach home much earlier den those take
taxi de!hahaha!save money and time!

anyways enjoyed my day...
definitely much better den the past few days...haha

so today's gg to be a lousy day...
i'm very tired cos i had soccer with the guys at hips nearby yesterday...
so whole body aching...very long no exercise le...sian....
gtg le.i'm hungry.BYE!

i enjoyed every moment.
esp today!i love you

u just make me forget the world.
whee!

everyday i love u more and more.
=) LOVELY.hehe...

3 flights up six stories down?
the high hopes leads to painful fall?

today was alright.fun fun fun.
me entertaining myself and others.
watched final destination 3.
ok lah.just incesant killing.and killing.and death.
and den on to some dining at pizza hut.
alot of laming around.haha.
that said time to go.work tml.

i'm making this hard for myself right?
dun hold back.
i wud like to hear it.i just want to know why.
why.

hm.
so today just chilled out at wendyl's place.
talked alot.just chat.
chat until sliva at sides of mouth!
haha!

sometimes when u think u have ur things around u under control
it suddenly takes a turn for the worst...and leaves u scratching
wondering wad have u done wrong?
and den u wonder again wad have u done also...
ah well.
the unpredictability of life.it makes it interesting
but just as complicated.

welldone.

ok.i've made up my mind now.
i noe where i am gg and wad to do.
I HOPE. =))
it seems quite ironic i could say i cant wait to leave
sch last yr around this time.
but how times have changed and the tables are turned.
i'm outta sch and i dun want to let go.
i dun want to leave frens behind.
i dun want to go far far away.
but time moves on with or without you.
so either u pack up and move on or get left behind.
MY CHOICE.

i dunno where u planning to go.
but just know i'll support u whereever u plan to go.
but i hope...=)

dreams aren't reality.
illusions are a figmantation of the mind.
but u are none.becuz u are here.right now.

then.
now.

the band.my band.

i think u've hurt me too deeply G.
i'm quite disappointted in u.
no, its VERY.
but i thank u for coming into my life.
i hope someday our paths might cross again.

and to that lovely girl,A
u've always been on my mind now.
as much as i have been in urs.
haha.ok thats very mushy.haha.
i thot that door had closed.but i hope it has sinced
opened again.
i have never loved b4.
i hope ur the first.
thanks be to GOD.AMEN.

becuz i want to be time, to heal all ur wounds

thank you guys for the celebration yesterday.
guys are referring to angeline flora claudia macrina geraldine xavier jianfeng clive fusheng nelson royston and fusheng's fren.
yeap.
thanks really,for making my day.
and thanks to the ppl who wished me also.=)
so this post is dedicated to all of YOU! =)

well.HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

the hand closes on the failing heart
hope bleeds through black fingers
the heart gave of a last spasm
as it lays tired, tattered and torn

thencame the rain
the sweet november rain
to wash away to age old pain
taking away hopes down the drain

i feel like an idiot now.
haha.

i tot life was rosy a few weeks ago.
now u've made me changed mymind again.

where is my sweet november rain?

blast from the past?

while TRYING to tidy up my room just now...
i found a few foto albums from my primary sch days...
one was taken when i was around p3 or p4...
the other was when i was p6.
looking thru the photos...a profound rush of memories came
rushing back...

its funny the way u look back at ur past photos and say
'HEY i looked like THAT in the past?'
and den it hits u...u've changed.alot.not just u but everyone.
the people u seem to noe very well den
is like a stranger to u now.
they change and so did i.

i'mnomore the idiot with the centre parting of my hair...
i lost my baby fats...but gained weight...haha
but the people around me...
noel used to be a close friend...USED TO...
so was joshua...and alex tee...and hong hao...and abriel
i've lost contact with hong hao...and thou i see abriel now and den...
the closesness is now further away...
the times i had in pri sch far supass anything i remember in sec sch...
but den again...the friendships i forged in sec sch are stronger and steadfast.
but in terms of laughter and joy primary sch was the best...
the things we do during recess to the things we do after sch...
the times when we have quick and petty arguments with frens but
jut as quickly patch up...
the times where we played block catching with frens...
the times where we can talk abt ANYTHING under the sun
and fear not of wat repercussions it might have...
the time when the soccer khakis got caught by the cdc and police were called
in just becuz we climbed in a fenced up soccer cage under maintainence.
the times where smiles were genuine
where laughter and joy were abound
where we were careless of wad lay ahead and the worries...
INNOCENCE.
gone.
haha am i provoking long buried memories?
or it has become a mirage in ur mind...where images come and go
all but just an illusion...
am i caught up in a blast from the past?haha...

wrking yesterday was fun...haha
cos the pretty was wrking there again...
haha.her name is...
wait...i'm not supposed to do tat...haha!
in anycase.
the day b4 i magine my day was good.
yesterday morning i just keep telling my self
'today will be alrite.'
it seriously turned out alrite.
it has NTHING to do with the girl.
i guess(no pun intended.) its all in the mind.

try waking up in the morning and tell ur self
' today will be good!'
i'm not kidding.
its like programming ur mind that today will good.
but anyways i hope she comes back more often to my wrkplace.
haha!but she has a bf already.its not like i'm going after her.
just that she was the other 16-yr old there.
the rest are 18 and over.
haha.k maybe i shall stop explaining myself.


dun send things that u dun mean.
that u send to everyother person.
am i being selfish?u tell me.

and so wad?

sometimes no matter how hard u try it never seems to wrk.
ever asked ur self WHY?
'its not u...its me' cliche.
nth wrks.
and dun give me the bull that it will be better.
FUCK that.

people change...
and i think i'm changing alot currently.
i''m flaring up easily...
my patience is grwing shorter...

oh man why things cant be simple anymre?