ok blogger sucks big time...

mixed feelings.
wtf's happening?
hah.i'd wish i'd noe.
confused.
THANKS.you noe whu u are. =)

wat the hell?

wat the fcuk happened to blogger?
they seriously need some restructuring...
i dun even noe how i'm posting this...
these few daes has been good...
but i'm too lazy to typed it out...
its also been tiring...dunnoe why i keep slping in cls now..
kao eh...got back my results liao...
bot exactly good...more like BAD...
yeah i noe there al0t of ppl out there who got worse
den me...but this certainly dosen't really hit my expectations...
my god...i wonder...i really wonder where we're going to end up?
wat the hell man...aiyah fustrated by this stupid blogger liao lah...
BYE peeps.study hard.NITEZ

havent been updating daily due to my dads dominance on
the computer and screwing it up...NOW ITS MY TURN!
i just woke up no to long ago and my whole body is aching....haha
especially my legs!haha...yesterday when going home i tot my legs couldn't
hold out liao....tot of collapsing...haha
anyways had a great day yesterday!many games played and tons of laughter generated!
my stomach now got pains becuz yesterday i laughed to hard! courtesy of Leong Fusheng lolz!
yeap and n the evening i went to go meet jianfeng for his burfday celebration also...played sparklers at
the far end of the esplanade park.at the fitness corner there. den we also took ALOT of pics...
not to mention the unconventional de CAN...haha...yeap

this week has been alrite. erm...the prelims are over. yeah?
yeah my foot ah...that means 'O' s are nearer liao!
so wet blanket rite?haiz...
sian and i havent got my hair cut.oh great.shit.tml sure kenna caught.
must go and cut today.
and wat the hell am i doing so early OUT of BED!
damn after yesterday de day i should be back to slping now!
guys will upload fotos as son as possible.
tc BYE.

fcuked up aren't we?

i seriously nid to get a freaking hair-cut...
my brother said he tot i look good going botak.
i vehemently disagree.that would make my face totally YUAN!
den dun wan ah.anyway in the army sure get chance to cut botak liao.
so ok lor.wait till den.

yeap didn't blogged these few daes cos i've been busy.
YES.BUSY.and guess wad?i been BUSY STUDYING!...
although that is ' LING SHI BAO FO JIAO ' ...haha yeap.
i dun care.today the papers was alright. i might get a pass but it'll be a just pass.
or more likely then not i might get a fail.i'm not suprised.
these few daes frens haf been living on light slp...
so i guess there were alot of frayed nerves here and dere...so maybe
emotions got kinda out of hand?i 'm really not pointing fingers at ANYONE...
just stating an observation...even i felt i am one of them...
though i've been going to bed on time.haha. 11pm =)
it has really been a stressful week.most haf a glum look.
majority is laughing this off...but down inside i guess most of us
has the weight of expectations on us.
i believe everyone WANTS to do well.so stop putting urself off.
so stop saying " i think i'm going to fail" or " i can't make it " ...
come on...haf faith and belief in urself.

oversensitivity could ruin any relationship.
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

hm...

today.
my chem paper's was fine.
i could do.hope it would turn out fine.

i think blogger SEIOUSLY FCUKED UP YESTERDAY.
actually nt just blogger.FRIENDSTER SUCKS TO.so damn freaking slow.
dumb excuse for people to connect with one another.

yesterday i went out to celebrate 'MD-AUTUMN' with sy,her fren,her fren brother,sy's bro and susan.
that was after angeliune they all had canceled their outing after nt
alot of ppl confirm were going.
haha had fun yesterday night.did alot of spastic things that were too childish for us
yet no 12-yr old kid would play.haha.so it was an in-between.
yeap.den after that i went home tired.i tot i could fall asleep while bathing!
haha.exaggeration,but that was how tired was.

i tot i could run away frm you.but it turns out i wanted to
be close to u more then want to be away.i dunnoe.
i guess ur my adhesive.i get ATTRACTED to u.
though i want to get out of this sticky mess and concentrate on my studies.
yeah well.lets leave this chapter unwritten,open,and more subtle to changes.

today after the exam i went home.just my dumb luck that it just had to rain
when i just got out of the sch.WTF? somebody up there against me?
as i move along the rain got progressively heavy.just sick lah.
anyway i caught my bus just in time.however it just so happens
that buses haf to turn their air-con to the lowest temp.
when the weather out there is cool enuff. like my dad says: 'These people got SHIT in their brains.'
argh.i slept for an hour after i got home.f course i bathed first lah.DUH. haha.
yeap den i went to CGH to get my yearly check-up on my leg.
got there 1 hour b4 my appointment time, hoping i could see the doc and be done with it and come
home to study for my physics.but i turns out NoOoOoOoOoOoOo...
i had to wait 1 and a half hours b4 i could see the doc.after see the doc for no more den 10 mins,
i haf to sit for another 15 mins to pay.talk abt efficientcy.BITCH.
patience is a virtue.well there is only so much ur patience can take.
esp when ur freezing ur ass off, u haf no book to study for ur next paper
and u just dun like the person infront of u.
it just so happens that the guy infront of me is seeing my doc.
and he is taking an extremely long time.he kept asking questions.ask and ask and ask.
so sickening.so i tot he just did it to irritate me.BUT THEN ,
i heard ' INJECTION ' and i knew why he asked so much shit question.
HE WAS SCARED!!! haha i was outside the consultation room.
he was inside moaning and screaming!not that i'm a sadist that rejoice
in other people's suffering.BUT the way he was SCREAMING inside
just made me think was he a wuss or wad?
ok i didn't see the needle so i dunnoe if it was an epidemic neddle.
even my mum beside me whisppered in my ear: 'shi nan de ah? aiyoh nan de ye zhe yang han '
ok i think i shall not talk abt that man anymore.

yeap.so that sums up my day.nid any clarifications on my illness come look for me someday
i MIGHT tell ya. ;)
take care guys.study hard.its the last mile.lets go all the way and gif ur best shot!
BYE!

oooooooook...
yesterday had gone out to study my chemistry.
OMG DOES MY CHEM SUCK SHIT OR WHAT?!
cant do simple stuff...somemore tml written paper...jialat.
so bo pian no slacking today.still haf to go through the stuffs.

had a long talk with my dad during dinner.
we talked abt the growing industres in singapore.he said he thinks its
the medical,which the whole world is moving to, and sercurity.
ok.so lets talk abt sercurity.
ths sercurity issue was only brought into focus by the recent
terrorist attacks.now most schs haf installed CCTv cameras on sidegates
and haf hired sercurity personnel to man the main gates.
certainly this has created jobs for the people.
HOWEVER my dad argues that these sercurity officers are slackers.
as i can testify to that.in our sch the guys sit there.
my father said f anyone would haf wanted to bomb the sch they could haf done it easily.

so he said if the ministry could introduce something like a gantry(try thinking ERP)...
we haf our ez-link cards...so the gantry gates just scan our cards as we walk into the sch.teachers could be given the same thing.a pass the gantry recognises.this gantry would den register ur info of wat tme u came into sch.if ur late den the student leaders would go hand u detention cards.
if an unauthorised person enters the sch the OM would be notified.
of curse this is just a suggestoin my dad has lah.den the student leaders dun haf to
come so early to sch and do that much duty.
and of course can still retain the guards lah.
but the cst of maintaining something like a gantry is much cheaper
den paying the wages of a guard over a year.

after saying so much asked my dad to go write to the fourum lah in The Strait Times.
he said somethings that i dun think shld be said here.the gov might SUE. =)
i tot it was a plausible idea so decided to post it here.
pst ur comments at my tagbard.CONSTRUCTIVE ONES!...haha

yeap.den yesterday night also watched ' The Mexican' ...
NICE SHOW. of course made better by the beautiful cast of brad pitt and julia roberts.
james gandolfini was also a great supporting actor.
yeap.so that sums up yesterday.
and today i haf to chiong my chem and A maths.
so cya peeps.take care.BYE!.study hard. =)

i'm so screwed...

oooooooook...
yesterday had gone out to study my chemistry.
OMG DOES MY CHEM SUCK SHIT OR WHAT?!
cant do simple stuff...somemore tml written paper...jialat.
so bo pian no slacking today.still haf to go through the stuffs.

had a long talk with my dad during dinner.
we talked abt the growing industres in singapore.he said he thinks its
the medical,which the whole world is moving to, and sercurity.
ok.so lets talk abt sercurity.
ths sercurity issue was only brought into focus by the recent
terrorist attacks.now most schs haf installed CCTv cameras on sidegates
and haf hired sercurity personnel to man the main gates.
certainly this has created jobs for the people.
HOWEVER my dad argues that these sercurity officers are slackers.
as i can testify to that.in our sch the guys sit there.
my father said f anyone would haf wanted to bomb the sch they could haf done it easily.

so he said if the ministry could introduce something like a gantry(try thinking ERP)...
we haf our ez-link cards...so the gantry gates just scan our cards as we walk into the sch.teachers could be given the same thing.a pass the gantry recognises.this gantry would den register ur info of wat tme u came into sch.if ur late den the student leaders would go hand u detention cards.
if an unauthorised person enters the sch the OM would be notified.
of curse this is just a suggestoin my dad has lah.den the student leaders dun haf to
come so early to sch and do that much duty.
and of course can still retain the guards lah.
but the cst of maintaining something like a gantry is much cheaper
den paying the wages of a guard over a year.

after saying so much asked my dad to go write to the fourum lah in The Strait Times.
he said somethings that i dun think shld be said here.the gov might SUE. =)
i tot it was a plausible idea so decided to post it here.
pst ur comments at my tagbard.CONSTRUCTIVE ONES!...haha

yeap.den yesterday night also watched ' The Mexican' ...
NICE SHOW. of course made better by the beautiful cast of brad pitt and julia roberts.
james gandolfini was also a great supporting actor.
yeap.so that sums up yesterday.
and today i haf to chiong my chem and A maths.
so cya peeps.take care.BYE!.study hard. =)

grow up...

wad is LOVE?
LOVE : 1.warm liking or affection for a person, affectionate devtion ; 2. sexual devtion or passion ; 3.GOD's benevolence twards mankind ; 4. strong liking for a thing
mostly for most of us its the first 1,2 and 3
i doubt YOU can be GOD...

today was a much better day for me...
i totally didn't study for my chinese...
its the first time i could not finish my chinese compo on time...becuz normally i dun haf much to wrte abt in exams.
although thats nothing to be happy abt...
yeap.i'm trying to make this work out...
i'm no longer going to get myself drawn towards this mess i had created for myself...
i'm not leaving it for someone to clean it up for me.i nid to do this myself or i will never learn.
i guess i nid to mature in this area otherwse i might just end up like this everytime.

we are not super-humans.though some haf shone that almost GOD-LIKE ability.
so i guess when things are out of control, dun try to right it.just live with it.
in the first place why rock the boat when nothing is wrong?
u cant stop the waves from hitting it though can u?
so ride it out and there will always be a sun behind that BLACK STORM.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE DESTINATION.
ITS ABOUT THE JOURNEY AND WHAT
YOU HAVE GAINED FROM IT.

there is still much to live for.
dun do that.dun even think abt it.PLEASE.
u haf still a bright future.u only think life sucks now is becuz
u cant get the perfect solution.WELL THERE IS NO PERFECT SOLUTION IN LIFE.
its all abt improvising along the way and adaptation.its also abt learning.
to want to take ur own life.SURE IT TAKES ALOT OF COURAGE.
only an INSANE person would stare down the barrel of a gun and still shoot his brains
out...
only an INSANE person would look down at the ground many storeys up a building
AND STILL WANT to jump down.
those people just cant see any solutins to their problems and so they tot taking their own life is the best option.

and yet i think it takes much more courage to live the shit life u haf now rather den taking a
much more cowardly route of suicide.YES.SUICIDE IS C-O-W-A-R-D-L-Y.
now if u really are keen on taking ur own life...
before u do ur stunt pls reflect on the GOOD things abt UR LIFE...MEMORIES u felt HAPPY abt...
things that u WOULDN'T want to exchange ANYTHING for...think abt ur FAMILY...
your FRIENDS...and then think abt urself...wuld it be worthwhile join ur ancestors so soon?
if the answer is yes den say hello to them for me...but if the answer is no pls get that notion out of ur head.
if u haf any problems tok to someone.preferably someone u feel comfortable with.
blood is MUCH MUCH thicker then water.so try talking to ur family.parents definitely.
ur their child.no parent would want their child to die.
if its better for u that way "talk" to GOD.
HE whu is almighty might make u change ur mind abt seeing him that soon. =)

ok enuff if this mumbo jumbo.now if u really want to de i would advise u NOT to follow wat i haf just blogged.
seek parental guidiance.or help from someone ur comfortable with.
talk it out.it makes u feel better then keeping it bottled up.

in case anyone wonders , i'm not a catholic, christian, muslim, bhuddist.
but its a funny thing i think of a GOD.probably becuz i was taught in two
catholic institutions.yeap so maybe...and for those whu wonder still
nope i'm not converting neither am i preaching.
just stating wat i want.thanks for ur unwavering attention.
i bid u a peaceful night in bed. =)
good nites.

in a fcuking dilema...why must it be off all people?
everyday...EVERY-SINGLE-FCUKING-DAY...it really eats me up inside...
if there is an inside at all...FUCK YOU!
fcuking pangs of jealousy...i want you all to go away...
u, my 'BROTHER'....i think i shld stay away frm you...
and you,the apple in my eyes,the cream of the crop,the the classy lady in my mind,
i think i shall stay away frm you too...

i nid a break from all of these...i just want to let it all cool...
its so time consuming so irritating...
i just always think its me over-reacting...being too fcuking sensitve...
all these feelings even though SHE'S not MINE!!!
how shit is that?
every small thing and action ur show to each other just
gives another reason for my brain to go into overdrive...
i really cant stand it anymore...
i never voice my ill-feelings much to anyone mainly
becuz i guess it just happens...
u cant stop it wth ur will...i'm just being willful...
u cant stop them tokking to each other u cant stop them frm playng together
just because of ur sensitivity...who are you?cos in the end even if i did say out anything
i guess nothing would be solved.on the contrary i think that more problems will
be created.and i dun want to lose friendship to either of them.
running may not be the best of options.but i think it will do for now.
i just keep away whenever it happens.

today i would like to appologse to anyone who felt irritated by me.
just over-enthusiastic.today's paper was good i guess.it was a lso a fine
day until my incontrolable feelings took over.
inidtogoawaynow.

=(

a torrent of emotions flooding
threatening to overflow...
what haf i done to deserve this?
i only haf myself to blame...
i'm too intelectually dumb to u...
i just feel inferior to other ppl...
haha...u think its all well and happy on the inside?

today had sci prac and geog paper...
hm i really wonder abt the practcal...
but i think i can do OK for the geog paper lah...
den later go and study...hm...

i pray for YOU.

oh yeh...

i've got a very bad feeling abt the whole exam...
how do i noe? GUYS INTUITION guess! haha!...but on a serious note...
i guess myself ain't going to do well...judging on how i struggled to write today...
it kinda just sums up the future yeah?but i wun gif up without a fight...
WE ALL WON'T RIGHT?!

so after the EL papers today went to green alone to study
my geog...did mostly physical geog...i find that actually studying alone
can make me do more stuff then say wth many people arund?
but i guess its an excuse...its just ur commitment and determination...
yeap so i stayed at green studying alone frm 2-6...a fantastic achievment
i feel for myself becuz hardly can sit at one spot for hardly an hour
i want to thank my mum, my dad, my brther, my sister and all those FAN WHICH SUPPORTED ME!!
haha laming now...but it was a BLACK DAY lah...rain and rain...
hm anyways my mind now s rejuvinated mainly becuz of...FOOD!
yes FOOD!i simply LURVE FOOD! but now i'm so full i feel like slping...
counter-productive.=( haha. in anycase.take care peeps.study hard.
NITEZ. peace be with you. DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY!!!

thanks!

THANKS ROSSLINA FOR HELPING ME WITH THE SONGS!!!=)

wad a day huh!?

today went out to TM with bloops to study.n more than an hour has
passed that we were on out feet walking around TM.waited for her fren.
den we went to expo expecting to fnd some VERY nice and VERY cheap
NIKE.ADIDDAS.stuff lah...but in the end is SPORTSLINIK warehouse sale.
=(.the things there were...lets put it this way:they weren't wat i expected.
haha.den we deceided to go to parco bugis since bloops said got sale in almost
all the shops.actually i think its ALL!the first thing after alighting at bugis is eat.
bloops fren, cheryl, VERY HUNGRY.so we ate our dinners.den eat le go walk walk parco.
took neo-prints.haha den walk somemore.den fnally set off for home.cheryl wasn't full!
so she bought some stuff to eat.but she go home still haf to eat dinner somemore!
haha.my legs are now damn tired lah.very ' SUAN '.yeap.AND I'M ALSO VERY HUNGRY!
there's a saying that : 'Never deprived a man from his food or thou shall hath no fury!'
actually i just made that up!...haha.lame.but my stomachs growling.=(
in anycase thanks bloop for a great day.and nice knowing u cheryl.=)

and to u whu might occasionally come by.
tough it out abit more lah.dun go that path pls.
there's still a long way to go.hm 'm not u so i wun
noe wads going thru u.but if u nid a listening ear...=)

new skin...new beginng?

changed skin...hm...looks nice the drawing
hm anyways my holidays are wasted.period.
hah.

i wonder wads happening?

i really wonder wads happening....
i guess the fault mostly could be found within me...
i'm drifting around...no aim...some felt i'm just there
for the fun...and once its gone i left...
nid to get my priorties rite...it ain't that simple anymore...

hm...today's exams were FUCKED up...
but in anycase...just to see the standard...
but den again...next week is the prelims...how to see?
maths was a total disgrace...i meant for me lah...
ss was a freaking farce...aiyoh but we dun noe until
like after our prelims...wadeva lah...

dun be guilty...wo fan xing le...
my mouth is BIG...haha...it goes both ways?jkjk
yeap...didn't get the opportunity to tell ya today...so
i just said it here.
anyways.tc peeps.study hard for prelims.tc.BYE.

hm...

i think i nid to learn to kip my BIG FAT MOUTH SHUT!

PHOTOS!

photos are just memories that are printed on paper...
haha that was crap...
anyways was looking through my folders when i chance upon my
picture folders...looking through all those brought a big smile
to my face...yeap...signed up to a host site to host the pics.

http://memoryfailure.mypicgallery.com/

yeap...so go visit there yeah?
also ANYONE WITH PICTURES OF EVENTS THAT U AND I HAF GONE TO
PLS SEND THEM ME SO I CAN HOST THEM!THANKS!=)

my bro's back frm the states...nope he din go there for studies...
just to open a person's horizons...which is wat i want to do probably
when i haf the money...living in singapore is like a frog livin within a well...
yeap...and one thing good is...HE FIXED THE INTERNET PROB IN THE COMPUTER!
haha yeap so here i am using the computer!
i just woke up lah...so forgive my retardedness...minds a bit groggy...
hm...not much happenings this few daes...
just that prelims are next monday...haha and i ain't that in a hurry...
i'm taking my life easy...sometimes too easy...thats my attitude now...
yeap...
wo ye fa xian dao wo de pi qi hen bao zao...
taking the brunt of it is mostly my mum...though whu nags constantly...
with me at the centre of the concern wo you shi jue de tah HAO FANNNN!!!!
and so in displeasure...i gif her alot of attitude...even raised my voice...
damn den after that i feel damn guilty...its not i dun lurve her...its just like
URGH!...its getting frequent now and my dad has pulled me aside to tok to me
abt this...i can see my mum is really hurt by my actions to her...and yet...haiz...
must curb my temper huh...irritation on the rise...maybe i shld just play more sports...
fustrations can just leak out this way...

hm it seems nth is wrong...is just me being paranoid
but as i noe nthing could come out frm this...
i really do like u...but i'm realistic enuff to noe...
but currently i'll just stick to this feeling...=)

tc peeps.bye.

ok...

i can live without my computer...or so it seemed...haha
now at zhi kang house using the computer...yeap thanks bud! =)
hm...an ending for one of my most important chapters in my life
is drawing to a closure.SOON.yeap...prelims in a weeks time.
'O' lvls in a month or so...hm...it all boils down to these few months days and weeks..
hate the feeling of the entire path of ur life bearing down on the
STUPID piece of certificate...my future will be determinded in the
next few weeks months days...we talk abt stress now...i wonder how we
cope with the workload in the future if we're working...

life's been good to me this few days...no actually its i haf done things
to make my life feel good these few days...though studies wise...
hm nid extreme buck up in that area...yeap..
had much fun the past few daes...but also did quite some work also..
mainly maths...its just like all maths now...my other subs..hm...
especially science...

am i losing perspective?
is something happening?
am i changing?for the better or for the worse?
isit all over?
wads wrong?
i wonder?
could u say something?
could it be anything like it was previously?

i recently saw the whole of the ' wake me up when september ends '
MTV...nice...all the band member's seem old though...yeah well...
i think i better go liao...
so cya guys again.tc.STUDY REALLY HARD GUYS!
we're not that far away...just a bit more effort.yeap.bye.