hm...i'm SICK.
as in physically...
got fever.
temp fluctuating arund 37.3 degrees.
haha.and its becuz of these few nights that were very cold.
den nvr cover with blanket.so caught a cold.
yup.
so it aint the the NOODLES GF.haha

i'm also wondering why the past few daes i've been
trying to study but i read in liao...
cant stick in the mind leh...
isit distracted?
hm...
yes very scared for the BIG exam.certainly hope i can pass.

must i be bolder?
when will i do enuff?
or haf i not done my best?

hm.yes after the practiicals when i SHOULD
be STUDYING HARDER i haf been SLACKING around.
wee.A man can change his stars.NO PUN INTENDED.

chinese is next week.shall i put in some effort?
haha.this ain't funny.i wondered what d i REALLY aspire to be.
and the answer was this. .NOTHING.
i had absolutely no freaking idea where i want to go.
i'm still like a baby waiting for the silver platter to fall into my lap.
i'm still waiting for ppl to spoon feed me.
and yes.I'M AFRAID.yup.afraid of the future.
wad has it got in store for me.wad perils await.
wad adventure beholds.

fear.

either u face it or u shall cower frm it.

ok.i'm quite lazy to blog this few days lah.
although have not been going to sch.
i have not studied much.
my moods this few daes has also never been better in the last few weeks.
ok.i'm bored.got to go now.
i noe.i'm bloggin for the sake of bloggin. =)

GIMME ALL YOUR POISON.

today was so-so.
tml's sci practical.wo0hoo?
well den.YOU have just ruined my day u noe that?
sometimes i wonder why i ask.
zzz.

today was some wad relaxed.
went to sch in the morning for maths and den sci remedials.
yup den in the afternoon went out to study with GF.
well at least been with her ain't that stressful.
can talk abt my probs.its the real me?relaxed.
studied my geog abit while she did her chinese.
there are some UNBELIEVABLE ppl in the world lah...

we studying at mac.den got the middle-age guy sitting at the back on my righthand sde.
a jc guy and a girl our age was sitting immediately beside us.
and it so happens the middle age guy was doing his work.
and there were many small pri-sch kids in mac.
making alot of noise.i also felt they were VERY noisy.
however the middle age guy made his irritation more obvious.
and somehow this jc guy tot he was very vocal.
NOPE HE DIDN'T SING.HE DID SOMETHING WORSE.
he started to talk loudly.for some reason it was aimed at the middle-aged man.
the middle-aged man was already irritated liao but it seems like he had a phone call.
and he picked it up.
thats when the jc guy started to shoot his mouth off.
he said to the grl sitting with him "HEY U KNOW THAT DAY I SAW SOMEONE TAKING OUT A PHONE AND TALKING TO IT AT THE MRT?HE WAS LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE FOR SOMETIME AND DEN LATER FOUND OUT HE HAD NOT RECEIVED A CALL.HE WAS LIKE DOING THE PICK-UP-CALL ACTION TO LIKE MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE 'HEY,I GET PHONE CALLS SO I'M POPULAR!' KINDA THING."

hm.now its was going on in my mind.
wtf fuck has it got to do with u.and for ur info its not remotely FUNNY.hurhur.

i couldn't hear wad the girl said the the jc guy but he started again " I MAKE IT AN ISSUE WHEN GROWN UPS MAKE IT AND ISSUE WTH KIDS " or something like dat.so are u trying to say ur a HERO?well u could be a verbal one.shoot ur mouth off b4 anyone can THINK. jc student and dat DENSE? can u believe his STUPIDITY AND CHEEK? so wad does that make u shooting ur mouth off loudly?lolz.u ain't no better then the middle-age guy man.u think the kids are thankful for u ah?haha they might out u with the middle-age guy under the same category:bai-chi.

whu was he trying to impress?GF?his frens?
me and GF were like rolling out eyes lah and trying not to laugh.

he went on " I dun like POSERS LAH. JUST WANT TO ACT SEH.TRYING TO ACT POPULAR BECUZ HE ACTED LIKE HE RECEIVED A PHONE CALL.LIKE I CARRY A LAPTOP AND MUCH BOOKS ACTING LIKE SOME UNI. STUDENT BUT ACTUALLY THEIR NOT?SO POSER.I'M ONE WAD! I LIKE TO PICK FAKE PHONE CALLS MAH."

wad does that make u sucker?
a quote my father used frequently:" THIS PEOPLE HAVE SHIT IN THEIR BRAINS U KNOW..."

yeap.thanks to them i lost appetite to study.retards.
went home very tired.
tried to study in the end used the computer.woohoo.

haha.want to thank someone who specially made time
to take ut frm her studying time to chat with me.
gave me advice yeah?haha ur a dirty person.MARIKITA UR HEAD AH!
yeah gd luck tml! =)
so i'm done.

hm...haf learnt to let go?
haha it takes time yeah?.

over-sensitive: thats whu i am.
limits.
there nthing i can do.
dun want to piss me off ,just do it behind my back.
i wont wanna noe.
someone said "sure we can do illegal stuffs.just dun get caught."
believe me i was really pissed that day.
but there is nthing i can do.really.
so pls continue wat ever we are doing.
ignorance sometimes is a bliss.
why do i care?
why SHULD i care?
i dun want you to feel sorry for me.
and i dun need ur pity.

today is a rainy day.
played pool with nelson susan lorraine and zhikang.
was darn cold inside the k-pool at plaza lah.
play until fingers went numb.
lorraine went off first to go to tuition.
den later the rest went down to KOPITIAM to eat smething hot.
thats to warm ourselves back to life.haha.
yeap den went back.such a sad existence.
oh well.

i'm done.

i'm sorry for spoiling moods of all, especially during recess.
i'm sorry for letting u guys down.
but today is just not my day.

it ISN'T controllable anymore GF.
i feel like whacking things day by day.
that explains why i keep playing sports and run myself
to the ground.
i nid to keep my mind of things.
i'm still trying to let go.

and talk abt friendships.ppl are probably busy now.
dun take much into mind.
i'm really sorry for neglecting one grp.i really am.
and at my lowest pt TRIED to pick me up
but the choice of making myself better is still ultimately mine.
but thanks anyway.=) i really appreciated it.
where were u other guys?
tml will be a better day?
things will still be the same.
to change things dun sit and wait.
change it with ur own will and hands.
i will probably still suffer frm a few bad days.
but i'll always be back.

rite now hated my best fren.i really hate him now.
for the torture he is causing me.
i feel like the whole wide world is laughing at me.
i'm the idiot.fine treat me like one.
I'M DUMB,IGNORANT,POMPOUS AND A PAIN TO BE WITH.
FINE.den scram.

next time i shall not poke my noes into where its not wanted.=)

i'll not care anymore.she ain't affected so why me?
i can't control everything.so why do it now?
must learn to let go.but know when to grab the opportunities
that come by.
in comparison with many other ppl i'm quite uncouth,ill-mannered,immature
hot-tempered and vulgar.ok...these are bad habits i MUST change.
and recently ppl've been calling me ' HEN un-GENLTEMAN LEH '
fine.time to concentrate on studies.
chiao.

how can we express ourselves?
wat was once music to my ears has changed
to irrtation,fustration,ANGER.
wat i detested to become has slowly taken root in me.
i am no more whu i was.i was never acutally wat ppl tot i would be.
nope.
why do we care?why do we gif it a try even?
why waste time?
i guess its becuz fear.
fear of 'WHAT IF'
fear of 'reproach'

wat i never expected was this.
maybe shld haf anticipated this.
but 'you never know until u try' comes to mind.
fear of regrets.

ah well.
why keep yourself hidden under the shell?
why?
open up?
why not?
afraid of what?
everyone's mood and expressions are fact that
1. upset.
2. sad.
3. feeling SOMETHING.=)
so why hide it?
ok its understandable not everyone nids to noe wad ur feeling.
and being a god fren dsen't neccessarily mert me knowing EVERYTHING
abt u.but ppl showing concern,sometimes dun brush them away.
ok i'm not really endearing myself to alot of ppl.PARTICULARLY someone.
sometimes i want to ask whether ur irritated by me.
haha.REALLY.but why do i care anyway rite?
u dun seem to want to talk.thats fine by me.
yet i always struggle.ah fuck.
yeap.FUCK YOU.

ok...
today was a veyr relaxing day...
went to a luncheon at Goodwood Park Hotel fr
my 3rd uncle's wedding...good to see him happy...
glad for him cos he changed alot...haha....
dosen't smoke dosen't swear and takes life easy now...
he is LIVING the life I WANT to LIVE!...haha
it was great.probably can get to show some of my photos next time...
yeap...den after that went to play badminton...with a full stomach...haha.
so no study today.
great.exams are so close yet i'm still slacking!haha.
oh well.i think i nid to brush up on my PR skills.haha.
ok its getting late.gtg.bye.

i'm falling even more in love with YOU.

u can make my day.
and u can spoil my day.
thats the extent of influence i allow u to affect me.
so why can't this be easy?
why does it haf to be complicated?
WHY DOES IT HAF TO HURT!?

ok.tday COULD very much BE better.
i hope everything is well.
blogger is still not ok.
k.cya.tc peeps.

NOT in GOOD spirts today.
i had that urge to really confront him and smack his face.
but i noe where i stand.
i noe i cant stop him.but neither can i stop the feelings.
wat a time it has come to take me.
he himself noes how i feel abt her yet...
it was probably unwittinly de bah...
my BEST fren.
FUCK YOU.

finally blogger fxed its problem...
FINALLY.
today was ok.
i donte really noe wat to say everytime i come here
and blog.
wat i tot abt in the day...kinda like just dun
register when i come here.
its a blank when want to blog.
maybe cant contnue this relatinshp with the blog.
haha.wat nonsense.
oh well.its getting late.
i'll try my best to imput my feelings next time.
bye.

pissed...

ok wat a day huh?haha
it was fun!but kinda boring after awhile the rides...haha...
alright so i came home early...sorry for being party pooper...
very tired...hangover frm yesterday...
yeap...came home and continued my relatinship with my computer...
never ending.........

something stinks...and my face is in pain...argh...
i feel like killing my computer's internet lah...zzz
wad's wrong?

huh?

blogger's quite slow in fixng this problem...or isit just mine?
yesterday went to cut my hair...so song now cos the weather is
hot...not shorter hair its cooler and easier to maintain...haha...
went home den go and play badminton with relatves...super tired lah...
i think i over strain myself liao....my right hand super pain...
now just woke up my whole body here pain dere pain ah...
later meeting mac and co. to go wild wild wet...

must really study hard liao AH!...damnit this whole week never do self study at ALL!
sian ah...feel very guilty...and havent tell my parents but the results...
shit.gotta go.cya.tc.BYE.