hm...

happy 16th birthdae mich chew and jasmine...

hm...i am very TIRED ...
haizz...shant sae anymore...
tc peeps and slp well...=)

' i never experience such happiness yet pain at the same time ever...
' u will never noe how i feel...

rain...

hm...this morning rained...and i didn't want to get out frm my bed...it was really too comfy for my burned out body to leave it...but we still haf to...its an obligation...a must...sian...
so the mood was set to be a very tired and lousy dae for me...
and for awhile it was...but there is always frens to cheer u up yeah?
i really believe ppl cannot live without frens...
even hermits...would eventually seek friendship within themselves...in otherwords haf split personality
haha...so the lessons were quite boring todae...
and omg chinese oral is near soon...chinese examinations haf a nasty habit of popping up suddenly when u did not expect them...and always so close...but its like we on tue they tell us the oral exam is going to start on tml!
and my class having the initial ' C ' goes first...wah kao...nvm
we do first..dun haf to drag...lolz sincerity last!...haha
hm...den our english oral is one month away...around august 11-12th
haha...hm and now we haf to stay back most of the daes to haf extra lessons with our teachers...
and i'm not complaining...i think it would be good for us...but it would be really taxing on all of our spirit...
i already seem drained...waking up in the morning is such a chore now...
boo...haha...but at least i'm not slping in cls anymore =)
haha...so i will keep up my change...hehe...i want to improve and see how for my prelims...
i want to really do well...and be in pole position to choose courses...
after sch went to study...but as usual my bag not enuff of materials to study...
i wonder does that count as an excuse...haha
hm...had to go home early...due to un-forseen circumstances...haha

' ur smile has never failed to make me cheerup
ur intelligence always make me wonder
ur beauty has always left me in dreams '

takkaire peeps...chiao

i'm going to change...=)

ok...once and for all...
i am going to rid my mind abt u!
though i haf really said this alot of times...
the time of reckoning is near...
we all haf less den 10 weeks to buck ourselves up...
and gear up for an exam dat will almost single-handly dictate our future...
i'm not going to slouch on the table...
nor sleep during lessons...
and would do and pass up my homework on time...

and last but not least...
i will forget my love to u...though love may be too strong a word?
i want to rid it so i can concentrate 100% on my studies...
i dun want to torture me...my parents and ppl that care for me anymore...
its really stupid to always think abt something...that will never happen...
its always distracting that i think abt u all the time...
i really dun want to sidetrack my future...
my grades are far too below standard...
i noe i can do better...
believe ME! =)

tc peeps and jia you...
its the last leg of the marathon...
time to energize ur tired limbs and burnout brain
and dash for the last race...
i hope to see all at the finish line wearing smiles and never haf and regrets...
cheers all =)

y?

tml sch reopens...
dunnoe happy or sad...
happy cos can regularly see frens..
sad becuz never finish holidae homework...
happy becuz dun haf to iddle at home...
sad becuz ur frens might be sick of me...
happy becuz can work my brain...
sad becuz brain overworked frm studying...
happy becuz i get to see HER...
sad becuz its always so close yet so far...a term i haf been regularly using since...

so its a bit mao dun when sch reopens...
and plus this is our crucial year...
cannot lax liao...
but everytime i sae that...i seem to lax more...
so now must sae...
I WANT TO PLAE MORE!
den maybe like dat can study...
wishful thinking...sian...
gtg eat dinner...chiao peeps...tc =)

wad?

hm didn't update cos yesterdae not at home...
hm morning went to watch the girls plae...
den after tat plaed abit of bbor...dunnoe why i still plae it though i suck at it...
den went to eat lunch at pizza hut...hm...quite zhibi bah...
den went to plae badminton at the civil service club...
den go had dinner with granddad and dad...
den went to my aunts place to stay...so that todae morning can haf tuition...

this is a boring post...
warning if u are in a very bad mood pls fuck off...this wouldn't improve it by much....

i seriously hate my life now...i hate the times when i suck at almost everyother thing...
i hate the times when i get scolded...i hate the times when i get lousy results...
i hate the times when i lose anything....i hate the times when i lose my anger...
i hate the times when i always be the nice guy and the 'yes' man...
i hate the feelings that are inside me...for i can never haf the girl i want...
i hate the times when i whine like now...

but den again...
life has much things to live for...
like the times i spend with frens...
the feelings of falling in love...
the sensations of eating...
the self-satisfaction when u ass-wipe some bloody arrogant snob smirk away frm his face....
the rejoyce at having won something in my lousy life...
the feeling of warmth and love when someone,anyone shows concern and care...


and yet...iu always seems the nice sensations can never last...
its always the bad feelings that last the longest way...
its dosen't take much to hate...to curse...to fight...
but it take balls of steel and courage to
forgive...to walk away frm a punch thrown by someone...to never take into heart wat ppl swear at u...
and to express ur love and care for someone...

ah forget it i'm talking crap...

[let me take u away frm the darkness
[to a place of happiness
[and never make u sad
[cos it would drive me mad
[i'll be ur vacation frm this place
[together we will run the race
[of life and never regret...

fuck!

farked...

hm...tiring dae...all becoz i neva slp...hahaz...caught my forty winks in the morning...den went to zhik's house to do project...he said he will do type out...den by mon shld be able to finish...den wanted to go and plae soccer with sy dey all...but they going to queensway liao so i dun really want to go...den went to library,popular read books...den came home plae abit more...sian...this is really boring...

tml the x mouse gurls playing match at upper court...hm..think i'm going to support dem...hahaz...but if the other x mouse guys go i think i'll stay away...hm...JIA YOU!...haha

anyways tc peeps...chiao =)

wad!?

todae ok lah...pom chem and phy...went to sy's house to watch house of wax....gory show...and quite stewpid also...haha...er den went to cine to meet angelineclaud roy eve and jf...hm...sing quite alot...but as usual...i noe i sang VERY VERY badly...but maybe i sang the jay chou songs abit with too much emotion?...haha...lolz....especially shi jie mo re...=)...sang with emotion!...haha...pls dun snigger and laugh ppl...i really like that song...haha...hm...den after that jiu come home lor...sian...haizz...tim to chiong lo...

tc and godbless peeps! nitez!

Beautiful Soul.

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special

To you I'd be always faithful

I want to be what you always needed

Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I wanna chase

You're the one I wanna hold

I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over

But im just fine moving forward

I'll ease your mind

If you give me the chance

I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

Am I crazy for wanting you

Baby do you think you could want me too

I don't wanna waste your time

Do you see things the way I do

I just wanna know that you feel it too

There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I wanna chase

You're the one I wanna hold

I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your soul

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

ooooooo

Beautiful Soul, yeah

oooooo, yeah

Your beautiful soulyeah

this song is nice...

beautiful soul by jesse mccartney...

it might haf describe wat i really want to tell her?...

haha...sometimes its really tearing at my heart...

i'm not some kinda psycopath...but seeing her just makes my dae...

and yet sometimes her incie winnie bit of actions might affect me too...

i might be tooooo sensitive...so i dun think this is called love?

might be infatuation...haha...so i hope this would pass by soon...

but yet deep down i hope its something more than infatuation...

it sometimes really kills u when u wonder abt the other party...wat shes doing and wat not...

makes feel like i'm a control FREAK!...i neva want to be that...i really dun...but sometimes when

my mind is just blank...it wonders there...haha...weird lah me...no wonders...

bullshiting now...i think i want to stop here...chiao peeps

and tc! =)

my com is fucked up...

my computer now has a virus i think...
it keeps auto typing the no. 6 out...
fucked up...i feel like whacking it...
but i doubt that would solve any problem...

ok todae was not such a good dae...
too tired and bothered to type it out...
ah fuck it...lousy dae caused by lousy ppl...how ironic it seems also
haha...anyways tc peeps...

argh...

todae finally went back to sch...first lesson jiu dun haf liao...becuz mr ong somehow forgot he got lessons todae...idiot...den wait for mrs ng's class...den shang ke...den 10 jiu end liao...den go and eat at yoshinoya...den jiu go watch mr and mrs smith...den jiu go home...mr and mrs smith is quite a nice show...haha funny at times...mostly is stupid...haha...

cant be bothered...sorry i showed attitude todae...haha...if i made anyone upset i appologise...=)
anyways...tc peeps chiao

grr...

i hate organising....suck!

screw it...

todae went early morning to go plae the stupid match...
fucked up lah...cos i was dere early...AGAIN...and no one was dere...
and i was like sitting dere and waiting like an idiot...nvm...robin came 15 mins later
den we go look for ben ang...and he was still SLPING...nvm...we wait for him...
den we went back to the venue for the activity...only to find that only TWO of the opposition had reached...
at the appointed time somemore...other ppl that we did not noe of were dere also...so there was only
robin, ben ang, boon hong, jun jie and me...so we tok on the other 4 ppl that we did not noe off...i went out...and half an hour later aaron came...but still no one frm x-rangers came...we played till like 9 plus with constant rotation of players...and den we finally found out andy stood us up again...cos they wern't on good terms with the other half of the x-rangers...and they never came...waste of time man...seriously...wadeva...then went to plae lan with robin, ben ang, zhik, aaron and me...waste money..haizz..todae is a screwed up dae...bored till shit...cya around peeps...tc chiaos...

bored

let me change something guys...the match would be plaed at H.I.P.S nearby de street soccer cage...not upper court...and going dere at 8...now its raining cats and dogs outside...so dun even noe whether the match would be plaed out...

...

i'm irritating yet irritated...how ironic....zZz

= ))

todae woke up quite early...stone abit...den went to kovan go and meet susan and eli...turns out me and susan were on time...and eli was not!...she came out late frm camp...make us wait one hour!=(...haha...den went to eat...den i go susan house eli went home to bathe...den actually want to come out again...but it turned out all had the tot but none had the will...haha...den later play pool...haha...veli happy...becuz...aiyah better not sae...haha...later so embarass her...wahaha!...anyways...came home...still bored...argh..tml got match...with x-rangers...at upper cpurt cage...at 9 am...hoping to win!...but the odds are stacked against us...boo...anyways...drink lotsa water guys!and slp early...tc peeps and chiao!

wad a dae...

yesterdae was too tired and lazy(mainly lazy =P) to update...yesterdae went shopping with gurlfren and sy...hm...we actually wanted to go to east coast to watch sunset...only later we find out the sun sets in the west?...lolz...hm...den we went to walk walk clarke quay...along singapore river...collyer quay...den we went to the raffles MRT dere walk walk...so paiseh hor...we all wear till lok-kok and we see ppl dress up with collars and ties...some with suits...lolz...haha...anyways it was fun...we ate at the arcade...the HANS shop...hm...den we walked to esplanade (pronounced as ASS-PLA-NAD)..hahaz...watched flip-side..." the dark side of music?"...i dunnoe forgot le...and watched a grp called B'Cube dance...and sing...ok lah...though their vocals were at time very awful...but i doubt i would haf got the balls to do so anyway...so cheers to them...one funny thing is...and auntie beside me actually nod her head to the beat of the music...lolz...gurlfren and sy were laughing at her...so bad rite they...lolz...quite funky the auntie...she even wore silver-coloured shoes...lolz...hm...after that we walked further down the esplanade to the long walk wayt dere...hm...saw got lotsa food...got this roadside shops...called makasutra something wan lah...the food dere seems nice...haha but we never eat...den we went to walk citylink...went to FCUK...hm...gurlfren found it hard to believe that one of FCUK's shorts were selling at 9 BUCKS!...even i cant believe it...lolz...den we went raffles city..shopped at mango...gurlfren found a skirt very nice...and it looks very nice to be honest...but the price tag that came with it was equally cool...m...den i saw the sercurity guard at the shop...very funny...he went to one of the mirrors and strated staring at his reflection and used his index finger touch his eyelids and see his nose...lolz...he was really sure no one was watching him i guess...lolz...den we went levis store...den we went to eat...throughout the whole dae we tok lotsa pics...haha...and finally we went home...haha...my legs were aching...haha...didn't noe i could last the whole dae...gurlfren say " next time u cannot come out with ur girlfren and shop le lah... " but i pointed out that at least i was better then one guy who was sitting on a chair dozing of waiting for his girlfren at the mango shop...haas...anyways...had a great dae lah...very saddening...sy gg to malaysia for 4 daes...no one come out with me le...hm...

went home and caught eye for a guy...damn howard lost...i dun like the wolfgang guy...ah wadeva...we'll see just how that relationship goes huh...haha...howard look damn down...damn crestfallen...oh man...thats shucks man...

hm and i think i'm been a letdown to other ppl lah...i hope ur reading this...i'm sorry ok?
i guess ur feeling left out and discarded...
i think everytime u went out with ppl u almost neva fail to invite me along...
and i didn't ask u along for most occasions...
i've read and i noe...maybe saying sorry ain't gonna do anything...
sometimes it might make u even more angry...
there might e gaps opening up?...i dunnoe can they be ever closed again?
can we ppl bridge gaps in between any relationship?
i guess onli time will tell huh...

in anycase...tc peeps...and pls start to study le wor...holidaes coming to an end...chiao = ]

trash...

its not always possible to noe everything rite?
haha...i think i shall stop going dere anymore...
it ain't rite...haha....should haf realised itearlier...
wat the hell was i thinking...but then again...
my thinking is shit sometimes...
lets see yesterdae was a damn freaking lousy dae lah...
i was hoping todae wun turn out to be the same...
only to find that my pants got one hole at the back...
when i woek this morning...i wondered what could haf happened...
and den the weather outside was fabulous for slping...except that i
was planning to go out todae...oh great rite?
i guess i'll be feeling ok now...reading books kinda calmed me down
cos i would be imagining and not thinking bout anything else most of te time
and...again...holidaes are wasted...argh fuck...i see many ppl starting to come to
their senses and really chionging...and i'm still taking things easy...
i must be too easy going...and lazy...but wat can i do...
change my attitude?not without determination...even den i need motivation...
a good career good motivation?haf a great life?maybe...i want to livee long enuff to experience
everything on offer...though that is impossible...at least try to experience everything within my reach
oh wadeva...i'm just freaking wasting my time...haha
bb peeps...tc

if words can express how i feel...u haf no idea...

if words can express how i feel u haf no idea i had those vocabulary in me...
somebody shoot me will ya...
once a fren said things in ur mind could kill ya
making u mad....if not killing u softly...
its ironic that what i told my fren...
ain't working for me now...

fuck...

scrap wad i said in the last post...somebody just shoot me!

oh man...

here i go...again...haha...todae had lunch with jf and claud at compass...dench went to library and den tuition...sian...hm...

sometimes i think i irritate ppl too much...sometimes i think i shld fuck off..but yet...as it comes to emotions...u cant control them everytime can ya?...haha...i really wish it had never come to me...but we all haf to take it on yeah...wad goes on in our minds...is our responsibility to keep it in check?...it always seems such immense task to us...but yet...we still haf to cope with it...fucked up...wadeva...i hope i dun mess up...i hope alot...haha...and most of the time...it never seems to go my way...haha...shit..i'm toking nonsense...anyways...gtg cya peeps...chiao

fug...

thanks sy...and sorry again for the ball incident...though u sae no lah i heard u said the explitives that got me into trouble...haha...so i guessed that ur pissed...todae was really a losy dae...i dun want to tok abt it anymore...haha...any sorry ppl for nort gg...i had my reasons = ]...bb and tc peeps

?

todae was not a sucky dae after all...though its another wasted dae...haha...in the morning played computer till late afternoon...den evening went to angeline de bro de chalet...celebrate his 21st birthdae...though dunnoe him well...so it was like jianfeng me angeline claudia clive all stay in one orner...haha among ourselves...played daidi...go arcade plaed games...hm...tried to plae pool...but the guy didn't allow ppl whu havent pass their birthdae yet...hm...den plaey daidi again...till ten plus den all go home had fun lah...haha...that all...hm..would be a dilema dae...tml den sae bah...haha...tc peeps!

woo...

todae went out in the afternoon to meet angeline and claudia...went to a place near expo dere...go eat geraldine's parent's de stall....they sell jap food...and i tell u the food is REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOOOOODDD....yi ji bang man...wahaha no kidding...hm...ate fried shrip...fried toufu...deep fried chicken...bao cai....they all haf jap names lah...just dunnoe how to spell and name dem...hahaz...the food is fab...hm...after waiting to thank the parents...we went to bugis to shop for angeline bro's birthdae present...walk around alot...haha...my legs aching...she bought a billabong shirt and a bookmark for him...den we continued looking around...den jf joined us...brought along hanita and her fren...er i think stephanie was her name...den went to haf coffee....den i went home while they continued shopping...cos i really cannot tahhan le...i want to slp...legs very tired...haha...damn never study again....shit...haha...sian...i want to slp le...i think i cna fall asleep while riting this post...haha...cant imagine me slouching over the comouter...wahaha...my teeth might damage the keyboard!...haha...better dun lame le...bb tc peeps chiao

i think i'm

todae supposed to go out...in the end canceled...so went out to study...frm 2.30 plus till 6 plus like dat...got me sy and eli...susan kip come and go...kip us entertained...i must confess didn't study the whole way lah...haha...den went chomp chomp with eli for dinner...cos the rest chao liao...hm...tokked alot thoughout...haha...came home...online till now...so late le..woohoo...gtg...chiao

...

fuck

whee?

changed blog skin...hope this dun look to gay or girl...haha...hm...skin originally had a blog song...frm edward scissorhands...kip replaying over and over again...damn irritating...sry ppl...haha....hm....i'm so bored...i havent been stuyding for a long time...aiyah...sian i want to pick up my books but am just too lazy...wahaha...i'm down with the blues man...

song frm pug jelly..."come home soon"

It's been two days and I'm missin' you already
Never really thought you could mean
So much in such a little time
Think about the nights when I'm lyin' in your bed
With my chest resting your head
Now that you're gone I'm here to stay
Chorus
I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down
With a bad case of love. Love love love
I think I'm falling for you. You you you
I think, I'm falling in love
Verse 2
When you come back all I wanna do is hold you
Have a blast even though there's nothing to do
Hold you close and look you in the eyes
So just come back and I'll tell you how I feel
Never knew how easy you could steal
My heart I miss you come home soon
(Chorus)
I think, I'm fallin' in love
I think, I'm fallin' in love
Bridge:
Cause I know that you won't be home when I call you
You're in England now, I hope that you'll be home soon
Cause I know that you won't be there when I call you, NOW
(Chorus)
I think, I'm fallin' in love
(slow) I think, I'm fallin' in love

wahaha...seems like a nice song to me...yeah anyways got to go for tution...tc and chiao guys!

another wasted dae...

this sucks...i dun wanna live this kinda life anymore...i'm wasting my youth...ahaha...sian...i've run out of words to sae...i want to change blogskin le...but i too lazy to find...and also cant find wat i want lah...aiyah nvm...tahahn abit more with this skin...wadeva...sian...got go slp le...chiao...tc peeps.

another dae wasted...

todae went to go cut hair in the morning...cut not bad bah...den go and meet sy and fusheng and slyvia for lunch...go susan place dere...i never eat...den after they eat jiu go to pt...plae abit of arcade...den go to green to plae pool...den go home...likedat one whole dae wasted sia...sian i really need to study...wah piang...only left three weeks lor...sian...gtg...cya peeps...chiao and tc!

whee...todae very tiring sia...go to sch shang ke frm 9-11.30...den had lunch in sch b4 goign to meet susan and co. to go queensway to buy charmaine her belated b'dae pressie...a white adidas bbor shoe...we shop very long den find de....den along the way saw alot of nice shoes...and my FAV. LIPVERPOOL jersey...woohoo!!!...damn nice man the jersey...hm...den after that we took a long trip to sy's place to plae soccer...hm...plae with some unknown guys...dun seem keen to make frens with me leh...den someone challenge us...win the first match...that team got really some ppl whu like to talk alot...my team si bei diam de lor...dunnoe how to communicate...lolz...den got next team...supposed to win one...in the end lose 2-3...damn irritating...had i scored the last kick jiu win le lor...irritating...the team seldom pass to me de...den haf to work for it myself...ok den joined the girls playing against PLENTY of irritating kids...wah cant stand one of them...GOD must be against me for not whacking or scoring against dem...i think they outnumber us 2-1...den got this grown guy....wah lau eh..his tackling...slide wan leh...one solid ground sia...DUMB...den got this super xia lan kia...we dun haf to meet out punishment to him...i hope life gives him a bigger lesson to kip his mouth shut....after the game found i had a humongus blister...lolz...den plae around when the kids left...den go arcade...lolz...plae till very funny...den went home...so sian...blister damn irritating sia...broken somemore...haizz...tml go cut hair lo!...whee...dunnoe will look nice anot...haha...sian...go to slp lo...chiao and tc peeps...= ]

oh no...

haha todae was ok lor same as yesterdae like dat....i going to haf a new hair cut...going to roy's mum's salon to cut...haha...i noe very giam...lolz...den going gym on fri...whee haf most of my stuff planned out...just not my work...damn....must put in more effort lo...

my feelings for her are growing deeper day by day...but yet i noe this is just a repeat of history...i want to pull out and stop it right here and now...if i could i would haf wished away all these feelings but i cant...i'm wasting my time...but its just the way of life isn't it?...hah...its always wishful thinking on my part...for i noe it could never be...

haha anyways i gtg and do at least some homework!...chaio and tc peeps!